I didn’t see the car coming…everything changed

I was waiting at a stop to turn left onto my road, when I was rear-ended by a car going 50-miles per hour. My world literally came crashing down. Thank goodness nobody else was in the car and I didn’t have my dogs in the back like I normally did.

The crazy thing about this accident? I wasn’t wearing a seat belt. My dogs had eaten it while I was in the store a few days earlier (they were still puppies). I kid you not, the auto parts place called me that day to let me know they found a seat belt for my old car.

I was incredibly lucky. I wasn’t seriously injured, but I was hurt.

This car accident changed a piece of my identity.

I was a long-distance runner.

After the accident I couldn’t run one mile. I fell into a depression. I couldn’t imagine another form of exercise that would satisfy me like running did.

I started to put on weight and felt my depression deepen. I had to do something.

I have no idea how I came across a fitness DVD, but I did. I got myself into a new home exercise routine that my body could handle. I started to feel better and eventually found a group fitness class that I really enjoyed.

I loved it so much I became a regular, completed a group fitness certification, and became an instructor. This was my new thing. I wasn’t a runner.

I was a group fitness instructor.

When I moved from Alaska to Montana. I still called myself a group fitness instructor. I tried to start a class in Bozeman. I taught at my house, other peoples’ houses, and even rented some studio space for a while. As fun as it was, it wasn’t feeling right. I wasn’t a group fitness instructor anymore.

I started attending yoga classes 4-5 days a week at the studio down the street from my office. I studied yoga philosophy and became a yoga instructor and earned my yoga therapy certification.

I am a yoga therapist and yoga instructor.

I believe in mixing things up. I joined the gym for the group fitness classes. I also joined kickboxing. Super fun! I started seeing clients and building my community.

Then the pandemic hit.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go to the gym. I couldn’t go to the yoga studio. I couldn’t see clients in person. I missed my community.

Who am I now?

As many of us did, I went online. I started taking online yoga classes. I looked up online workouts for strength and cardio. I used my TRX with another fitness app. I was trying all sorts of stuff. Then I remembered my fitness DVD. I ‘d hung onto it all these years.

I put one into the DVD player and rediscovered my home fitness routine. I took action.

Professionally, life was feeling better too. I started seeing clients online and eventually in person.

I discovered something else about myself. I changed and evolved over time in different circumstances. How I identified with myself wasn't static.

I am more than the labels and stories I place on myself.

I love physical health and fitness. But that is just the beginning. I had to ask myself what other labels and stories do I place on myself in other areas of my life.

Lots of examples easily came up for me. Check this out-

I should be able to…

  • take care of everybody else’s needs first and be perfectly happy.

  • be a perfect mom and never lose my temper.

  • manage all responsibilities without asking for help.

  • be more flexible than I am because I practice yoga regularly.

  • run a million miles a day and not feel tired at the end.

  • not be upset because I meditate.

That is an unreasonable list and yet I place these expectations on myself.

They’re not grounded in reality. I would never expect this from anyone in my life.

Why would I do that to myself?

Because… I want to be loved and accepted. If I can be more and do more, I can love myself and be loved by others.

Oh boy, let’s unpack that.

Self-love and acceptance must to start where we are. I continue to learn this lesson.

I won’t be happier if I lose the five pounds, write the perfect blog, run faster, or become more flexible. None of these achievements will bring me lasting happiness because I haven’t fully accepted me.

Think of it this way.

It’s like telling your best friend at the start of a marathon, “I won’t love you until you finish.” What?! That’s crazy talk. I love you at every step of this marathon. I’m cheering you on the whole time while I ride my bike next you.

This is huge!

I ask myself every morning...

Who am I today?

It feels like a crazy question. I have so many answers. I am a mom; I am a daughter; I am a girlfriend; I am a dog owner; I am a homeowner; I am a yoga therapist…. it goes on and on. But who am I? There is a more permanent answer than all of these labels.

I am love. I am connection. I am here right now.

Did you know that you are love?

That you are loved?

You are.

Even when it doesn’t feel like it. Even when life is challenging. You are loved.

Acceptance of who we are is necessary for self-love.

An important detail here, acceptance doesn’t mean we don’t take action.

It means we take informed action.

Here’s an easy place to start.

Every morning before you get out of bed, place your hand on heart and say to yourself, “I am loved.” No big deal. Nobody even needs to know you do this. It’s for you.

This is a powerful practice to remind ourselves that we are loved no matter what.

You are loved no matter what.

If you're interested in exploring acceptance, taking action, and self-love I'd love to work with you. I have an Acceptance yoga therapy package. Book your Discovery call today.

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Be well my friends,


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